Wednesday, October 13, 2010

What is normal anyway?

It has been a very, very long week here. School hasn't been as rigid as usual because of the circumstances but we have managed to have it so I'm thinking of that as a huge plus :) The fibro aches have decided that this week, the knees, ankles and toes should hurt and thus goes my hobbling gait around the house. I can't remember the last time I was "normal" but then again, what is normal?

My definition of normal has changed so many times you get dizzy trying to follow it. Before I got sick, normal was a daily routine involving work, housework, parenting and being a wife. I had a certain day of the week for every chore around the house. For example; Mondays were sweep, mop, vacuum and shampoo carpets, Tuesday was dusting and dust bunnies around the ceilings and cleaning out the fridge, Wednesday was strip all the beds and do laundry, etc...yup, I was that anal about all of it. My niece used to tease me about, "Oh no, you can only do that at her house if it's Tuesday and there is a full moon!" lol! Like I said, I had a normal (for me) routine and I loved it.

Then I got sick, no more normal anything! I had to quit my job, which completely sucked! Yes, both the job and quitting :) but I loved being out and earning money. It was the first job I'd had in 7 yrs. When I was two weeks out from having my son, I went on maternity leave and didn't go back to work until my daughter (they are 13 mos. apart) went into 1st grade.

Anyway, I quit work and I dropped out of life - seriously, it took me down so hard that I was OUT! I couldn't move, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't function! I saw doctor after doctor and nobody seemed to even want to help me! "It's all in your mind," "you sufferer from depression," blah, blah, blah!

After what seemed like an eternity of that stuff I went to a doctor in Chicagoland and within the first 10 mins. of our visit, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are NOT crazy, this is real and it's called Fibromyalgia!" I published an article about that time in my life, give it a read if you get bored - heck, give all of my stuff a read, page views are good :) My "personal" writing stuff is @ http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/175705/haley_koehling.html

Today, normal consists of "maybe" I'll do this or that and "maybe" I'll feel like driving or socializing. The only definite thing I do is get out of bed in the mornings. That's what normal has become for me. After I finish this blog, I have to pursue the laundry I started a few minutes ago and that may be the only accomplishments that I have today....but you know what, that's okay too because this is who I am - today.

Until next time!

1 comment:

  1. This post really hits the nail on the head for me today. Thanks so much for sharing.

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