Checking in

Hello followers!

I haven't been here in what seems like forever! Have had ups and downs lately and unable to get my act together enough to blog - ugh!

Well, the newest thing...I've now lost somewhere around 30 lbs. and I'm feeling more and more like my old self.  The only hard flare up I've had that bares remembering was brought on by a rock concert - lol! Well, we stood out in the heat wave for almost 2 hrs. waiting to get in and then had a SRO concert that lasted another almost 3 hrs....by the time it was over, I seriously thought I was going to have to be carried to the car.

Needless to say, it wiped me out for a couple of days but by that Friday I was back on the road to Chicago and did the whole tourist bit with my girls and a dear friend.....such is the life right? lol!  Anyway, I was extremely glad to see the end of July and welcomed August with open arms, until I found myself in the ER, that is.

Thought I was passing kidney stones but found out I have a fatty liver??? Figures, I lose weight and my flippin' liver finds it! lol! I'm not going to concern myself with this issue because I'm eating so well/healthy and it's all in God's hands for me now.

Put the kids back into public school this week and I can now close that chapter on the home-school phase of our lives. It was an experience that I would not trade for anything in the world but they needed the high school experiences and I need to seriously need to concentrate on working again - win, win!

So, that's just a brief recap of what has been happening and with any luck and determination, I will get back into this blog with more consistency :) Hope all is well with all of you!

Until next time!

Another Day

Haven't posted in an "eternity" but I am still here! The weather has taken another brutal swing & it has, of course, has sent me into flare-up orbit! I'm dealing but some of the recent days have been rough.....

I'm happy to say that I'm still "all herbal!" I have lost about 12 lbs. and I'm making my daily walk of about 1 mile, when the weather permits. Even while fighting the pain in my hips, I feel like I've cheated myself if I don't get my walk in.

I've not had any real new developments that needed sharing - just wanted to make a quick post to let everyone know I'm still kicking, all be it right around ankle height! lol!

Until next time!

Soggy Times

The weather here has been dreadful and I just haven't felt like posting lately. Anytime we are overcast and rainy like this past week, I just want to loll around like a slug....and pretty much have been.  Easter has come and gone and although it was extremely nice to hang out with some of the family again, it still provided its own type of stress for me - ugh!

Our area is going through major flooding of historic proportions and who knows what tomorrow will bring. My kids are on a count down to school being out for the summer, hubby is working 60+ weekly and me, well....I'm still broken but I think I'm on the mending side of broken right now :)

A few months ago I decided I was going to try to "fix" me. I have started by ditching all of my prescription medications. I now take only herbal supplements; "D", Calcium, B-12, Flax Seed (occasionally) and I also have added a Water Pill to my daily intake.This, so far, has been a prudent move on my part as I don't feel "dependent" and I seem to be acclimating to the new routine quite well.

I also began a program, ran by a dear friend, called "Healthy Living." This is a program designed for healthy weight loss via worship and support. It isn't drastic as far as food goes either. It is more about monitoring your intake - period. You watch the amounts of sugars, carbs, proteins, sodium, etc. Not just one or the other, you watch it all - it makes a real difference.

To date I've lost about 12 lbs. Not much in the overall scheme of things but a great start and just the boost I needed to keep going. I still haven't checked out the local doctor - it's on my "to do" list but right now I need to handle things this way as opposed to that way. lol!

Currently, the majority of my problems come from stress and that stress is centered around personal relationships. However, I'm hoping come May 9th - all will be set right again. I'd love to elaborate as to why that particular date but right now, it is simply a theory I have going and I wouldn't want to "jinx" it! lol!

So, here's to staying dry and afloat, medicine free, unstressed and eating healthy!!!!

Until next time!



Until next time!

Ankles Away

I have found that the description for Fibro is a bit misleading - well, kinda anyway....it's often described as "overall body pain" and that is true but also a tad bit deceptive. For me anyway, I do have pain from head to toe but not all at once. I have lovely little twinges I call, "hot spots!"

For example; right now, my "hot spot" is my ankle. Out of the clear blue it started aching and swelled up. I have an ankle brace because it has been known to be one of my spots. It flares, sometimes for a day, sometimes for a week and then it clears up...that's what all of my "hot spots" do.

Nope, anti-inflammatory medicines do not help with these either, for me anyway. Generally, I have to treat the ankle just like a sprang in every other way though. I brace, elevate and ice until I feel like I can walk normally again. It is a total pain in the rump but it's just how it is.

Last week it was my hands, elbows and shoulders. Out of the blue, my fingers swelled to the size of sausages and I even had a hard time removing my wedding band.  This, fortunately, is almost always temporary - as in, hours if not minutes.  However, it doesn't keep it from being both strange and annoying :)

Because I'm on a new health conscious "quest" I have taken a stance this week - I have decided to eliminate what prescription pills I can and replace them with herbal supplements. I have altered my food intake and have pushed very hard along the lines of physical activity. Yes, that could all have something to do with my phantom ankle pain but I am determined to not allow it to shut me down completely.

I have a route I've been walking which is about 1 mile and when the weather turns, (as it has lately,) I use my indoor stepper. I want to get into a shape other than "round" - actually, I'm more of a "pear" shape and, as I've stated many times, I don't like it! So, I push on!

Let's just face it - with emotional issues, weather, toxins and whatever other stuff out there that can cause us spoonies to flare, just waiting on us - we have to take a stance somewhere. There will be consequences to my actions but there are whether I do anything or not, right?

So, with my ankle firmly braced, elevated and iced, I bid you all "ta-ta", until next time!

Here I Go Again!

I've done it again, I've let my stress level get so high that I'm flying head first into a flare up! Darn my low boiling point and quick temper to bits!! Being that we are on the threshold of St. Patrick's Day, I'm gonna go ahead and blame it on my Irish heritage lol!

Joking aside, stress is one of the worst enemies of #spoonies - for me personally, it can throw me into a flare up quicker than an aerobic work out. For the last week or so, I have been building up to a major blow up and it came to a rolling, boiling head today. Now, as I sit here and type this, I'm hurting from stem to stern. . . ugh!

I tried to work out my frustrations by doing things around the house and in the yard today. The weather here is too beautiful for words so I cleaned up the yard somewhat and then decided to install the window blinds I bought last night.  The latter of those two was not one of my more brilliant thoughts - they are up and they look nice but "Oh My Gosh!"

My daughter and her friend we listening to me struggle and timidly asked me if I was okay, to which I responded, "I didn't have this much trouble giving birth!!!" They laughed but me, I was ready to cry - see I'm not smart enough to use a drill so I was trying to tap and drive screws in a VERY confined area. I insist on putting the blinds within the window casing/framing so not only is it confined but the angles are darn near impossible!!

So, my neck, shoulders, hands and arms are really feeling the brunt of the flare because they have had the most exertion. Couple all of that with the stress and I'd have to say, "I guess I picked the wrong day to quit using Xanax!" lol! Sorry, couldn't miss an opportunity to kinda quote one of my favorite movies of all time - "Airplane"

I have to add that several of my friends have helped me lately with one particular agitation. They have given advice, support and empathy. These simply acts of kindness and camaraderie have kept this episode from being 10x worse - so, "Thanks friends, you know who you are!" :) You just gotta love people and social networking sometimes!


Until next time!

I'm up!

Well, I had ample opportunity to sleep in but instead, I woke up with yet another raging headache! It's the stupid curse of the sinuses and knowing that still doesn't make it go away! lol!

I haven't blogged for awhile because I've been battling the sinuses and the teenagers :) We are cramming as much as we can into this final semester and hoping to get where we want to be before May....ah, the beauty of homeschooling - I don't have to give them "Spring Break!" ahahaha!

Another advantage is P.E. any way I want. So, we've been walking. However, I pushed myself with my walking the other day - it was feeling really good so I walked about a mile...needless to say, I HURT! I am still not loving the shaper shoes I bought and I don't see that relationship improving any time soon. They feel weird on my feet and I've had them for over a month now.

Haven't yet checked out the area Doctor - time has gotten away from me. Need to leave myself a big note on my computer so I will remember to check. In the meantime, I have added B12 to my daily regime of pills. So far, I like it and yes, I do feel a tad bit more energetic as well. - yeah for me!!!

I will try to remember to post the ongoing results of that little experiment too - note; Shaper Shoes - kinda a bust; Doctor - Not yet; B12 - so far, so good!

Until next time!!

Down Days

Today is one of my "down days." When I have them, (which lately is all too often) I simply cannot function properly on any level.....I'm sure anyone who suffers from depression can completely understand what I'm saying.

Anyway, I truly, truly believe there's a connection with the physical and mental aspects of my health. This morning, when I finally went to bed, (horrible storms kept me vigilant until after 2 a.m.), I did not sleep well. Which, as tired as I was, should not have been the case at all.

I woke up with awful lower back pain and twitchy legs - it took several tries with the sleep number bed to find an adjustment that helped eliminate it. I also had to medicate and then I ended up oversleeping and missing an appointment for first thing in the a.m. - ugh!

So, I went from tense, to exhausted to suffering in pain, to over-rested - all in a span of a few hours.  After starting my morning out so "suckish", I moved on to other things, like dealing with stressful/painful family crap.  I must have subconsciously set myself up for that mental slap in the face because that's exactly what I got!  Actually, my reaction to all of it was a carry over from yesterday so it had 24 hrs. to brew into a major source of aggravation for me - yay!

Now my mood has progressed into this "blah" state and I don't see it lifting anytime soon. So, if you were to ask me if these stages of health/lack of health and mental anguish are related, I'd have to say, "Yes." At least, for me they are. However, the absolute worst part of me being "pissy" is that I let it "roll down hill" so to speak. I'm working on that :)  A friend posted she was going to take a nap to get rid of her grouchiness - I responded with, "I'd have to be "Rip Van Winkle" to end my grouchiness!" Sadly, that is very, very true.

When I'm like this, major decision making should never be left up to me. For example; Right now, I would gladly sell my house and most everything in it and beat feet out of here! I don't want to be here, I don't want to see anything here and I sure as heck don't want to deal with most of the stuff I deal with here!  Ugh - talk about feeling trapped!

That is my current state of mind and it sucks! I'm tired of the roller coaster of well/unwell, happy/unhappy, pain/painless, connected/unconnected. If, by some weird kind of twist of fate, this all happens to be one huge coincidence - then I have to put this statement/question out into the universe, "Oh come on! - Really????"

I'm closing this now because I feel the overwhelming need to get a warm rice sock and go lay down with it on my head....this is probably the best route for all involved as it will remove me from everyone's presence and cut them all a huge break :)

Until next time!

Well, that sucks!

After a long wait for a DVD that I had hoped would "show me the way to recovery," I got an email saying that I live too far away from their office for them to send me one :( The email included some offices closer to me that follow the same philosophy and I will check into them but for now, I'm just majorly disappointed.

It has been a very, very rough couple of weeks. My daughter and I have been taking turns being sick and it is currently my turn. I have a raging sinus infection and flare up going on at the same time - ugh!  The flooding outside hasn't done much to lighten my mood but it has relieved my headache somewhat.

So for now, I'm going to wrap my head in a warm rice sock, take more medicine and lay back and "Listen to they rhythm of the falling rain!" lol! When I know more about this "Healing Philosophy," I will be more than happy to share.

Until next time!

Enough Already

Well, if stress and sadness are factors in flare ups then I'm in for a doozy! Last night our son found our sweet little sable shepherd dead in her dog house and this morning, my daughter discovered her turtle dead in his habitat........we've cried enough around here to make a river.

Now we are looking @ two pet funerals in one afternoon and my stomach acid is churning like there's no tomorrow - who knows, at this rate there may not be!

I admit, losing a pet is so hard...two, even harder but dealing with your children and their loss is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.  They are mortified even though they fully understand that what lives dies. It's a double heartbreak for a parent - the loss is hard on you too but then to see your child devastated, well...it's rough.

So, I guess I just wanted to put it out into the universe that really, "Enough already!" My heart cannot take anymore right now.

Until next time!

I'm Still Here

It's been awhile since I posted because I've been caught up in "life" stuff but I have some calm now so, "Here I am!"

It's been a week of ups and downs but I have recently began a 12 week program, with some dear friends, that is designed to help us change our habits from negative to positive via friendship, support and the Bible.  Just as I began this, I got sick with a bug. So...I'm starting from scratch this week basically - ugh! I will keep you posted on those results as I go along.

Today however, I want to know if anyone has seen the fibro ad on fb from the doctor in Tinley Park, IL?  I was drawn to it because the "grabber" says, "It's all in your head" and that is a huge pet peeve of mine. However, the YouTube video that it takes you too was intriguing enough for me to order the free DVD. The guy is Dr. Edward Beyer and he states that it is literally "in your head", at the top of the brain stem.....hmmm.

I haven't gotten it yet, as this was just a day or so ago, but I will post something after I have watched it. I know that doing something like this is a desperate attempt at relief but that's where I'm at so, "Why not?" I know I'm not alone in wanting my life back and I'm willing to listen to what this guy has to say.

So, that being said - I have to take my broken self and attempt to get my "already behind" day started. Until next time!

Obesity and Fibro

I love all the stuff coming out right now about how obesity makes Fibro worse...."Really???" For myself I can say this, "No kidding! However, I wasn't obese until this crap hit me!!!!" At what point will the "experts" determine that exercise hurts us and the fatigue keeps some of us from running marathons? - well, me anyway.

I was never an athletic person - ever....but I was active. I worked and did stuff like a normal human being. The only time my weight was over 145 lbs. was when I was pregnant. Now, I'd give anything (figuratively speaking) to be back @ that weight.

Look, I don't want to now nor have I ever wanted to be a darn Super Model. I don't want the calendar girl figure either - I want my figure back. The one that saw me through thick and thin (pun intended there). I was never "hot" but I felt comfortable with me. Right now, I feel and look like I ate the old me and haven't burped her out yet!!!!!

Instead of the experts pointing out the obvious - how about they figure out what causes this mess (I suggest looking really, really closely at female medicines/products that we have ingested for years) or create a weight loss medicine that could help us...........I DO NOT LIKE WHO I AM NOR WHAT I LOOK LIKE - STOP TELLING ME TO LOSE WEIGHT WHEN I ALREADY KNOW I NEED TO!!

Okay, that being screamed and "Nope, I don't feel better", moving on - the bottom line is; We know we need help, we are begging for it. When will it be truly heard? I feel this latest announcement is just one sentence ahead of, "It's all in your head." Now, "It's all in your waistline" - thanks experts!

Until next time!

Pardon my cough

Well, I managed to get sick - again! What started out as a normal Monday morning turned into a week long illness. I have to say it, "I HATE being sick!!"  I am the first to admit it, I am the world's worst sick person. I am a HUGE baby when I get body aches. I'm cool with everything else. That is to say, I can die quietly on my own but throw in body aches and "Oh my word!" I get whiny and pitiful.

So, for almost a week now I've been broken-broken. It sucks! My son was sick too, for about 24 hrs. He recovered fully and has been camping since yesterday! Ah, youth and resilience - I WANT SOME!! lol!  I miss being able to bounce back from things easily.Oh well, I'm glad he did and I wouldn't change that for anything in the world.

Thankfully, the flu part of this is over but I'm now battling with bronchitis. This in itself is awful for me as I already have horrible lung issues. I am just so grateful that I had my flu shot back in November, I'd hate to think what this could have done to me without it. Right now it's cough, cough, cough! Sitting up is makes things a bit more tolerable but that really puts a cramp in sleeping.....ugh!

I guess it's a sure thing to say that sickness will attack you where you are weakest. For example; body aches with me will attack in my lower back and hips and almost every cold for me turns into bronchitis. These are two areas where I am the weakest physiologically. I can't help but wonder what the Fibro is really doing to me - I know what the experts say about it but how can something that affects your daily existence so much not have detrimental impacts within your body???

Oh well, that's just life huh? For now, I'm taking it very, very slowly. If I over exert it will come back on me right now with horrible consequences. Good thing I have a good book series to keep me company. It's a lonely life sometimes.

Until next time!

I Hate...well, lots of stuff!

You know, I've always drilled into my kids heads, "Never say "hate" - dislike is always the better word!" However, I have found that I HATE; cold weather, invisible illnesses, insubordination and denial in the face of obviousness!

Okay, as you may have guessed, it's COLD here today and it's making me ill tempered. Also, you may have gathered that I'm sick of Fibro and all its crap! Now, add in two teenagers who think the world owes them EVERYTHING and you have my current existence in a nutshell!

I realize that I got sick right at the critical time they were learning from me by example - I mean, I crashed hard when I first took ill and I literally STOPPED taking care of stuff. The results are more than obvious. As I look @ my teen children I see two people who do not care about their personal looks or the condition of their surroundings. They do not care about how they are perceived or received and I cannot make it clear to them that they should.

I fight a daily battle to get them to help themselves, let alone me and our household......and it's all because of me. I did this - all be it unintentionally, I am still ultimately responsible. Now, I have no way of knowing how to reverse this horrible mess. :(

I/we have always strove to teach them pride in themselves and what they do. That no matter what they do, their signature is on it - you'd think that once they reach the teenage years, that would mean SOMETHING - ANYTHING! Grrrrrr!!!!!

Okay, at the risk of sounding like a bragging parent, my children are intelligent beings. They aren't Mensa candidates by any means (yet - fingers crossed tightly) but in my honest opinion, they could be some day. However, simple tasks like doing what they are told and doing them correctly the first time are darn near impossible.  It gives me serious cause for concern.

The reason why this "stuff" is included in my Fibro blog is because all of this compounds into stress that could backlash the average #spoonie into a flare up! Right now, I'm teetering because of the weather, the children, money issues and several other personal things going on.

Today, I choose to deal with all of it by checking out. I'm going to pretend none of it exists - at least for a couple of hours. I'm hoping that it will help me regain some personal control - I can always hope, right???  So, I'm hibernating and hiding in my own house - wow, what I've become in order to exist semi-pain free is simply sad.

Until next time!

Happy New Year

I, like millions of other people, have come to some, "Beginning the New Year" decisions. I have decided to call them "Challenges" as opposed to "Resolutions" as in my life, nothing is EVER resolute. They change and morph daily therefore becoming challenges.

So, along with my utter astonishment at my arrival to the year 2011, I am equally amazed that I arrived here so over weight, out of shape and broken. Therefore, my number one challenge is to "Fix what is Broken!" Beginning with ME - this shall prove to be one of the greatest challenges I have ever undertaken because I am really quite broken :)  However, I know that I have determination lurking somewhere just under my layers of resignation, depression and consternation, so I have to dig deep! lol!

I leave this blog short because in order to get anything done toward this challenge I have to start immediately - "Go into the new year with a new attitude, it may actually get you to where you want to be!"

Until next time!