Monday, February 28, 2011

Down Days

Today is one of my "down days." When I have them, (which lately is all too often) I simply cannot function properly on any level.....I'm sure anyone who suffers from depression can completely understand what I'm saying.

Anyway, I truly, truly believe there's a connection with the physical and mental aspects of my health. This morning, when I finally went to bed, (horrible storms kept me vigilant until after 2 a.m.), I did not sleep well. Which, as tired as I was, should not have been the case at all.

I woke up with awful lower back pain and twitchy legs - it took several tries with the sleep number bed to find an adjustment that helped eliminate it. I also had to medicate and then I ended up oversleeping and missing an appointment for first thing in the a.m. - ugh!

So, I went from tense, to exhausted to suffering in pain, to over-rested - all in a span of a few hours.  After starting my morning out so "suckish", I moved on to other things, like dealing with stressful/painful family crap.  I must have subconsciously set myself up for that mental slap in the face because that's exactly what I got!  Actually, my reaction to all of it was a carry over from yesterday so it had 24 hrs. to brew into a major source of aggravation for me - yay!

Now my mood has progressed into this "blah" state and I don't see it lifting anytime soon. So, if you were to ask me if these stages of health/lack of health and mental anguish are related, I'd have to say, "Yes." At least, for me they are. However, the absolute worst part of me being "pissy" is that I let it "roll down hill" so to speak. I'm working on that :)  A friend posted she was going to take a nap to get rid of her grouchiness - I responded with, "I'd have to be "Rip Van Winkle" to end my grouchiness!" Sadly, that is very, very true.

When I'm like this, major decision making should never be left up to me. For example; Right now, I would gladly sell my house and most everything in it and beat feet out of here! I don't want to be here, I don't want to see anything here and I sure as heck don't want to deal with most of the stuff I deal with here!  Ugh - talk about feeling trapped!

That is my current state of mind and it sucks! I'm tired of the roller coaster of well/unwell, happy/unhappy, pain/painless, connected/unconnected. If, by some weird kind of twist of fate, this all happens to be one huge coincidence - then I have to put this statement/question out into the universe, "Oh come on! - Really????"

I'm closing this now because I feel the overwhelming need to get a warm rice sock and go lay down with it on my head....this is probably the best route for all involved as it will remove me from everyone's presence and cut them all a huge break :)

Until next time!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Well, that sucks!

After a long wait for a DVD that I had hoped would "show me the way to recovery," I got an email saying that I live too far away from their office for them to send me one :( The email included some offices closer to me that follow the same philosophy and I will check into them but for now, I'm just majorly disappointed.

It has been a very, very rough couple of weeks. My daughter and I have been taking turns being sick and it is currently my turn. I have a raging sinus infection and flare up going on at the same time - ugh!  The flooding outside hasn't done much to lighten my mood but it has relieved my headache somewhat.

So for now, I'm going to wrap my head in a warm rice sock, take more medicine and lay back and "Listen to they rhythm of the falling rain!" lol! When I know more about this "Healing Philosophy," I will be more than happy to share.

Until next time!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Enough Already

Well, if stress and sadness are factors in flare ups then I'm in for a doozy! Last night our son found our sweet little sable shepherd dead in her dog house and this morning, my daughter discovered her turtle dead in his habitat........we've cried enough around here to make a river.

Now we are looking @ two pet funerals in one afternoon and my stomach acid is churning like there's no tomorrow - who knows, at this rate there may not be!

I admit, losing a pet is so hard...two, even harder but dealing with your children and their loss is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.  They are mortified even though they fully understand that what lives dies. It's a double heartbreak for a parent - the loss is hard on you too but then to see your child devastated,'s rough.

So, I guess I just wanted to put it out into the universe that really, "Enough already!" My heart cannot take anymore right now.

Until next time!