Friday, November 5, 2010

Fat Day

I'm going to start this off with a warning - I'm depressed and today's post reflects it. If you are already sad, I advise you to not read this as it may bring you down even further.

Today is a "Fat Day!" Everything I do, say, think, etc. leads me to me being fat! I have days like this more and more it seems. The worst is showering, not so much the shower itself but the full length mirror on the back of the bathroom door. I usually hang my robe over it but I still know it's there and what it reflects.

Between the "I'm fat depression" and my normal "stress depression" is wedged the "missing my Dad" depression. Every significant event (this particular one being mine & my daughter's birthdays) makes me miss him even more. He liked the whole celebration thing, the fun and joviality of it all and now, without him, it's just another day, for me anyway. Plus, I doubt that my Mother will remember it at all and given current circumstances, that's just as well. 

So, I'm bombarded with ill feelings right now and it makes me question how much any of this would truly get me if not for the damn fibro! My body issues are directly tied with my mind issues and it is frustrating, to say the least. I did speak to my doctor yesterday about a diet pill that I had heard about. Unfortunately, I am still having "issue" with the Diverticulitis and until that is fully resolved I cannot pursue any type of diet pill :( Figures!

To recap; I'm fat, sad, broke and really, really depressed about all of it! However, just having this blog to express all of this, helps me tremendously. I don't know who reads it, only who's subscribed to it but that is insignificant to the therapeutic value of letting it all out.

So in conclusion, "Thanks to everyone who reads my drivel! I hope I didn't bring you down too much but take heart in knowing that putting this in type helped me so much! I advise anyone who has "issues" to consider a blog. It doesn't necessarily have to be one that's public, I believe there was, once upon a time" a thing called a "diary" that served the same purpose only privately. lol!  Mine would be private too if I didn't believe it to be connected to Fibromyalgia. I feel a connection to other sufferers of the "silent" diseases and if sharing our sorrows helps one another, then so be it.

Until next time!


  1. I want you to know that I read!! I never joined before now I would just read it. But I felt like you need to know that I'm here and supporting you and reading your every day trials. (Even though we talk about them one on one all the time)I'm here, I care, and although I don't have the same health concerns, I can relate very much to your post. Most importantly me and my family LOVE YOU VERY MUCH! :)

  2. I'm a reader, but not much of a commenter. ;) Sorry you are having a rough time. If it makes you feel any better, I have fat days every day. ;) I understand the depression all too well, too. Sending you big, big hugs.